I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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