She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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