You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize