Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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