PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
