I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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