If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
