he wants to bone in the snuggie
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
