so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
