Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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