Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
