I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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