So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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