it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
That accounts for only three of the penises
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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