She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
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You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
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You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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