He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I touched a dick in church today
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize