Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
