break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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