three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
