Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize