my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
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I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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