Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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