Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
