Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
