dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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