So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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