He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
where am i from again
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
