Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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