I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
