Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook

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(650): View more from California

she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater

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(812): View more from Indiana

Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.

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(916): View more from California

Were you citizens arresting people again last night?

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