I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems