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PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Randomize
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