Ambien. No doubt about it.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
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I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes