We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
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Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?