Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
