I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
