Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man http://tfl.nu/40et
  Replies (15) Good night (1547) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Her vagina was like a man-sized safe. http://tfl.nu/e508
  Replies (10) Good night (652) Bad night (3503)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever. http://tfl.nu/989r
  Replies (18) Good night (5844) Bad night (1851)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned http://tfl.nu/3gli
  Replies (30) Good night (6459) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on! http://tfl.nu/2bv6
  Replies (10) Good night (3677) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore http://tfl.nu/eivb
  Replies (24) Good night (5420) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  ahaha ok

  (708): View more from Illinois

  let's call it "werewolfing"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that. (1-708): ahaha ok (708): let's call it "werewolfing" http://tfl.nu/709l
  Replies (6) Good night (2886) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs. http://tfl.nu/jalq
  Replies (13) Good night (533) Bad night (1989)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses. http://tfl.nu/edcx
  Replies (3) Good night (857) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years? http://tfl.nu/xhbr
  Replies (3) Good night (1421) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum" http://tfl.nu/5h4q
  Replies (5) Good night (703) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober? http://tfl.nu/dhkh
  Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off http://tfl.nu/b0hl
  Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday http://tfl.nu/vpar
  Replies (3) Good night (453) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad http://tfl.nu/nf3b
  Replies (4) Good night (187) Bad night (298)

Randomize