Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.

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  (781): PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy. http://tfl.nu/qjlc
  Replies (9) Good night (4064) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.

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  (256): I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources. http://tfl.nu/m7l9
  Replies (28) Good night (3637) Bad night (1253) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  did u get his digits?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...

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  (570): did u get his digits? (201): yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone... http://tfl.nu/pvtx
  Replies (8) Good night (4881) Bad night (829)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid

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  (306): How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid http://tfl.nu/1mq4
  Replies (9) Good night (914) Bad night (4427) Order T-Shirt
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  She said she wanted to have closure sex.

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  (848): She said she wanted to have closure sex. http://tfl.nu/0dyj
  Replies (9) Good night (3666) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

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  (865): What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"? http://tfl.nu/h7i9
  Replies (11) Good night (2260) Bad night (1637) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.

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  (575): Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits. http://tfl.nu/8qqe
  Replies (7) Good night (1832) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.

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  (631): I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship. http://tfl.nu/vmw8
  Replies (17) Good night (2354) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.

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  (316): I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction. http://tfl.nu/n8tp
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (1247) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.

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  (815): I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed. http://tfl.nu/jn5l
  Replies (7) Good night (442) Bad night (1760) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!

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  (602): Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both! http://tfl.nu/0dax
  Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.

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  (941): Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants. http://tfl.nu/rame
  Replies (31) Good night (1124) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"

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  (916): My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower" http://tfl.nu/qx3d
  Replies (7) Good night (815) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.

  (831): View more from California

  Promise??

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  (916): I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird. (831): Promise?? http://tfl.nu/1nt5
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (413)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.

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  (479): I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital. http://tfl.nu/6mwi
  Replies (1) Good night (424) Bad night (124) Order T-Shirt

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