her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
