i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
