and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
