I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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