He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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