Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes