I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.