I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours