okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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