just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
