accomplished twins. life is a go
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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