if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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