lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
