What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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