mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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