Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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