you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
