apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
