So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
