another moral hangover. fuck.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize