i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
