ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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