ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
