We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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