Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
