I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
