I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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