Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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