Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
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He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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