I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
