So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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