if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
