I like to think it a success when the cops are called
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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