she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
