I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
