We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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