did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
These tits shall not be calmed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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