i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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