Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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