Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
