You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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